Film number 3 of my “1001 Films to See Before You Die” list is 1994′s Clerks. Have to say, out of the three films I’ve watched so far, this is the best one I’ve watched. Enjoyed every minute. There were moments where I actually learned about real life issues from how to deal with idiotic customers to relationship problems. Highly recommend it but for now, here is my thought on Clerks
Clerks
1994
Director – Kevin Smith
Staring – Brian O’Halloran, Jeff Anderson & Marilyn Ghigliotti
IMDb Rating – 7.9/10
My Rating – 7.8/10
I saw 1 year old when this was released in UK cinemas on May 5 1995
Film opens with Dante falling out of a cupboard and answering the phone
He sounds like a typical teen – “I’m tired” & “I don’t wanna”
Shot of dog drinking from the toilet bowl
The coffee pot is a pig and you drink from its head!
Nice parking
I’m liking the song that plays in the opening credits
Truely shows what it’s like opening a store/shop all on your own
If you don’t have the right keys for padlocks, then leave them and just tape a sign to it
“I assure you we’re open”
Already bored
“Vilification”
Smoking since 13 years old
That lung on the counter looks like a dead squirrel
Try gum instead of smoking
How to stop a smoker – Show them a diseased lung
ITS JAY & SILENT BOB!!!
How to make an intro – Do a spit take
“I’ll fuck anything that moves”
Jay likes to say “Fuck”
Guy is still in shop trying to stop smokers
10ish minutes and enjoying every minute for me
He just compared smokers to nazis
Veronica appears on the counter with a fire extunguisher
The guy works for a gum company!!!
After all that, he still wants cigarettes
“I’m not even supposed to be here today”
Leave money on counter!!!
When you’re not serving customers, paint womens fingernails
I’m learning about women from a film – Wonder if any of this is true
Snowball sounds high
He got the name from “jizzing into girls mouths and having them spit it back in his face”
36 DICKS!!!!
Doing down on men doesn’t truely mean you move men
“What the hell is resting your eyes?” – It’s called sleeping
Forget your keys, there in the bin
They both want a film on dental proseagures
Headline on paper says “Worlds Fattest Man Weds Tiniest Women”
“Let the past be the past”
She cheated on him 8 1/2 times in a five year relationship and called her Brad
Only just noticed that cigarettes were $1.95 back in 1994
“Happy Scrappy Hero Pup”
This is some video rental shop – All of these are porno titles
When the clerks away, the cat manages the shop
“You! Shopper! Watch me shit!”
Silent Bob’s cousin is Russian and wants to be a metal singer
He doesn’t sound like a metal singer
How did he get stuck in a Pringles can???
“What’s better – Empire Strikes Back or Return of the Jedi”
They just spoiled the end to Empire Strikes Back
Now there spoiling all of Star Wars!!!
He claims the Death Star shouldn’t have taken that short of a time to build – Where did they get the builders for that
A roofer starts taking about roofer jobs
Jay is seen stuffing his face
The song in the background is about Chewbacca
I work in a video rental stall and don’t watch movies
There’s a customer who’s searching for the perfect eggs
Now the song in the background is a cover of Fleetwood Mac’s “Go Your Own Way”
This customer looks like Joe Pesquali
He just gave a pack of cigarettes to a young girl
Now let’s talk about “Nudie Booths” and “Jizz Moppers”
This customer is offended by their language so they show him a picture of a girls “downstair parts” (I couldn’t think of a better term)
“You expect me drink coffee without ice!!!”
The boss is in Vermont and isn’t coming back ’til Tuesday
“I WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE HERE TODAY”
Lets play hockey on the roof of the shop
Customer waits then leaves to climb the roof to complain then heckle
Customer then joins the game to take on Dante
Customer shoots hockey ball into grate across street
“I still get free Gatorade right”
I now feel sorry for Dante
New customer wants soft toilet paper and a porno magazine to use while on toilet
Silent Bob spends most of his time smoking next to a wall
Closes store again to go to a wake
Song in background is a cover of Bad Company’s “Shooting Star”
I now want to listen to the soundtrack (if there is one)
He died trying to give himself a blowjob… OK then
“Who wants to go to a store at 4pm on a Saturday” – Cut to shop door with customers outside
BAD RELIGION MUSIC!!!
He knocked a casket over after 5 minutes of being there
I’ve now thought of a drinking game – Take a shot everytime someone wants cigarettes
Customer takes about crazy headlines in papers
Randall spits in customers face… Because he wouldn’t shut up
Randall then takes Dante’s car to go to a video store… despite the fact he works in a video store
Customers accuses Dante of being fat and overweight
Dante gets fined $500 for something he didn’t do
Meanwhile with Randall in a video store
Forget that, Dante reunites with his ex, Kaitlyn
Outside, Jay dances while Silent Bob smokes
Dante still annoyed about the headline he saw about his ex getting married
His ex claims she got proposed and her mother put the headline in the paper
She wants to get back with Dante and doesn’t want to get married
Just shag her already!!!
Jay’s still dancing
NOW SILENT BOBS DANCING!!!
Randall rents “Best of Both Worlds” – a interracial porno
Dante breaks the news to Randall
Kaitlyn’s just shagged a randomer in the toilet
Turns out the randomer was the customer who wanted soft toilet paper
The randomer died masturbating
Snowball just sits in the back of the ambulance and it drives off
Randall makes “Salsa Shark” with salsa and Doritos
My life’s kinda like Dantes – Minus the sex
Remember the days when you could smoke indoors
SILENT BOB SPEAKS!!!
Randall tells everything to Veronica
“I’m not sad” – Veronica kicks Dante’s ass
Poor Dante
FIGHT!!! It’s Dante vs Randall!!!
Match ends as a NO CONTEST after Dante gets Skittles in the eye and Randall can’t swallow
“I’M NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE TODAY!!!”
I’m getting life lessons from Clerks
“You’re closed”
THE END
Clerks
1994
Director – Kevin Smith
Staring – Brian O’Halloran, Jeff Anderson & Marilyn Ghigliotti
IMDb Rating – 7.9/10
My Rating – 7.8/10
I saw 1 year old when this was released in UK cinemas on May 5 1995
Film opens with Dante falling out of a cupboard and answering the phone
He sounds like a typical teen – “I’m tired” & “I don’t wanna”
Shot of dog drinking from the toilet bowl
The coffee pot is a pig and you drink from its head!
Nice parking
I’m liking the song that plays in the opening credits
Truely shows what it’s like opening a store/shop all on your own
If you don’t have the right keys for padlocks, then leave them and just tape a sign to it
“I assure you we’re open”
Already bored
“Vilification”
Smoking since 13 years old
That lung on the counter looks like a dead squirrel
Try gum instead of smoking
How to stop a smoker – Show them a diseased lung
ITS JAY & SILENT BOB!!!
How to make an intro – Do a spit take
“I’ll fuck anything that moves”
Jay likes to say “Fuck”
Guy is still in shop trying to stop smokers
10ish minutes and enjoying every minute for me
He just compared smokers to nazis
Veronica appears on the counter with a fire extunguisher
The guy works for a gum company!!!
After all that, he still wants cigarettes
“I’m not even supposed to be here today”
Leave money on counter!!!
When you’re not serving customers, paint womens fingernails
I’m learning about women from a film – Wonder if any of this is true
Snowball sounds high
He got the name from “jizzing into girls mouths and having them spit it back in his face”
36 DICKS!!!!
Doing down on men doesn’t truely mean you move men
“What the hell is resting your eyes?” – It’s called sleeping
Forget your keys, there in the bin
They both want a film on dental proseagures
Headline on paper says “Worlds Fattest Man Weds Tiniest Women”
“Let the past be the past”
She cheated on him 8 1/2 times in a five year relationship and called her Brad
Only just noticed that cigarettes were $1.95 back in 1994
“Happy Scrappy Hero Pup”
This is some video rental shop – All of these are porno titles
When the clerks away, the cat manages the shop
“You! Shopper! Watch me shit!”
Silent Bob’s cousin is Russian and wants to be a metal singer
He doesn’t sound like a metal singer
How did he get stuck in a Pringles can???
“What’s better – Empire Strikes Back or Return of the Jedi”
They just spoiled the end to Empire Strikes Back
Now there spoiling all of Star Wars!!!
He claims the Death Star shouldn’t have taken that short of a time to build – Where did they get the builders for that
A roofer starts taking about roofer jobs
Jay is seen stuffing his face
The song in the background is about Chewbacca
I work in a video rental stall and don’t watch movies
There’s a customer who’s searching for the perfect eggs
Now the song in the background is a cover of Fleetwood Mac’s “Go Your Own Way”
This customer looks like Joe Pesquali
He just gave a pack of cigarettes to a young girl
Now let’s talk about “Nudie Booths” and “Jizz Moppers”
This customer is offended by their language so they show him a picture of a girls “downstair parts” (I couldn’t think of a better term)
“You expect me drink coffee without ice!!!”
The boss is in Vermont and isn’t coming back ’til Tuesday
“I WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE HERE TODAY”
Lets play hockey on the roof of the shop
Customer waits then leaves to climb the roof to complain then heckle
Customer then joins the game to take on Dante
Customer shoots hockey ball into grate across street
“I still get free Gatorade right”
I now feel sorry for Dante
New customer wants soft toilet paper and a porno magazine to use while on toilet
Silent Bob spends most of his time smoking next to a wall
Closes store again to go to a wake
Song in background is a cover of Bad Company’s “Shooting Star”
I now want to listen to the soundtrack (if there is one)
He died trying to give himself a blowjob… OK then
“Who wants to go to a store at 4pm on a Saturday” – Cut to shop door with customers outside
BAD RELIGION MUSIC!!!
He knocked a casket over after 5 minutes of being there
I’ve now thought of a drinking game – Take a shot everytime someone wants cigarettes
Customer takes about crazy headlines in papers
Randall spits in customers face… Because he wouldn’t shut up
Randall then takes Dante’s car to go to a video store… despite the fact he works in a video store
Customers accuses Dante of being fat and overweight
Dante gets fined $500 for something he didn’t do
Meanwhile with Randall in a video store
Forget that, Dante reunites with his ex, Kaitlyn
Outside, Jay dances while Silent Bob smokes
Dante still annoyed about the headline he saw about his ex getting married
His ex claims she got proposed and her mother put the headline in the paper
She wants to get back with Dante and doesn’t want to get married
Just shag her already!!!
Jay’s still dancing
NOW SILENT BOBS DANCING!!!
Randall rents “Best of Both Worlds” – a interracial porno
Dante breaks the news to Randall
Kaitlyn’s just shagged a randomer in the toilet
Turns out the randomer was the customer who wanted soft toilet paper
The randomer died masturbating
Snowball just sits in the back of the ambulance and it drives off
Randall makes “Salsa Shark” with salsa and Doritos
My life’s kinda like Dantes – Minus the sex
Remember the days when you could smoke indoors
SILENT BOB SPEAKS!!!
Randall tells everything to Veronica
“I’m not sad” – Veronica kicks Dante’s ass
Poor Dante
FIGHT!!! It’s Dante vs Randall!!!
Match ends as a NO CONTEST after Dante gets Skittles in the eye and Randall can’t swallow
“I’M NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE TODAY!!!”
I’m getting life lessons from Clerks
“You’re closed”
THE END